#66: Grateful Out of Fear?
what is it that you truly feel
I walked up to my apartment and suddenly told myself: “I am so grateful to have this place, and to be here.” The zeal with which I said this surprised me, for I felt more than just gratitude.
I realized that I was fearful. Out of fear, I wanted to appease whoever might take things away from me. “I am so grateful for X” truly stands for “Please, do not take this away. Here, I am showing you I appreciate it. I am worthy of these privileges.”
Hiding behind my own words of gratitude is my fear, coated in the unwillingness to accept its presence. It doesn’t feel nice to see my own hypocrisy, but I really must accept it if it’s there. So I ask myself: