#52: How would you feel?
If you were them, not you
“How would I feel about this behavior?”, I used to ask. Behaviors resulting from this question could be fair, rational, and understandable to me, yet unfair, unkind, and hurtful towards other people.
The correct question to ask is: “How would I feel if I were them, not myself?” Now, this question calls for imaginative power and active consideration of the other person. To answer this question I need to think, remember, and wonder. The result of this approach is the realization of the unexpected and unforeseen side-effects of my behaviors towards other people.
Ultimately, I am meant to be humbled by the awareness of my ignorance of what others truly feel like. I can try to understand, but I almost never know the full picture. This humbleness helps me act with gentleness rather than force, kindness rather than conviction.