#31: Responsible To My Desires
A desire is like a little burning fire
My last reading of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs revealed a new concept to me: individuals' most basic needs must be met before they become motivated to achieve higher-level needs. “Meeting your basic needs is not a choice” Jeremiah told me once. I have this tendency to be illusioned about my ability to function well without meeting my needs. A desire is like a burning fire: if I have all these fires to watch, I cannot be truly focused on anything else.
Every single desire I have needs to be inspected because a desire is a messenger between my primal and more advanced selves. When the inner child is asking for something, I can try to explain why she can’t have it now or distract her. I don’t have to give the child what she wants, but I can’t shut her down either. I have to find a kind way to make the child understand the situation or not think about it. This is the only way to foster a thoughtful and independent individual within me.
Attending to my desires is a self-reinforcing feedback loop: the more responsible I am towards resolving my desires, the more personal trust and accountability I develop. These traits help me build the confidence in getting what I want and reframing my mind about what I don’t need despite wanting it. The negative desire feedback loop leads to a continuously decreasing self-confidence: when the child is shut down, she stops believing she can get what she wants so she eventually finds defective ways of satisfying those desires. A desire is a fire that will find a way to get the attention it requires eventually. I better put it out before it burns me down.
*Thank you for being with me on the Daily Memo journey for our first month. Your thoughts and feedback are always welcome.