#131: The Core of Unaccountability
As I witness yet another crash, my mind gets infused with doubt
I have been trying to lose weight for the past five years. Despite ardently desiring it, I have been unsuccessful. As I witness yet another crash, my mind gets infused with doubt. My confidence in my ability to get what I want is the singular most important asset for actually getting it. In the scheme of things, I need that confidence way more than I need a perfect body.
During my countless attempts, I went through the full spectrum of negative emotions: rage, despair, hope, hate, indifference, and jealousy. Eventually, I got so fed up with myself, that I needed to understand why it keeps happening. Why do I continue to self-sabotage myself?
I realized that accountability isn’t a standalone skill, but rather a mode of behavior for projects of high importance. Accountability is a byproduct of the alignment of desire, ability, and understanding of the given game. Lack of accountability isn’t a character trait, but a sign of misalignment. Instead of chasing accountability, I need to be finding alignment. When my desire, ability, and understanding align, I will organically get the self-discipline to execute in full-send mode.