#125: Numbing the Pain
How can I stop trying to numb the pain when it’s still there?!
Eat high-sugar or high-carb foods. Smoke. Drink alcohol. Consume drugs. Watch addictive intellectually-numbing content. Browse feeds. Get lost in virtual fantasy worlds. Obsessively check notifications. Engage in any form of self-destruction: physical or mental. Engage in destructive behavioral patterns: towards myself or others. Engage in compulsive emotional patterns, further intensifying the negative feeling. Not feeling a sense of gratitude. Not feeling a sense of joy. Not feeling a sense of self-pride. Not feeling a sense of self-worth…endless behaviors resulting in feeling horrible.
I do want to feel great, so I try to address these problems: eat healthier, act kinder, consume fewer substances, etc. Yet, I soon discover what an uphill battle eliminating these destructive behaviors is. Why is that? Because the pain causing these behaviors is stronger than my power to fix them. Addressing these behaviors directly sends me into a vicious cycle of fighting against myself. How can I stop my attempts to numb the pain when it’s so acute?! Instead of fighting against myself, I want to ask: